How To Get An Ex Girlfriend Back

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 7/20/09

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do you get an ex-girlfriend back?

Answer: Well, it is not easy, but I have done it by using all the relationship technology  contained in “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. The real question is “why would you want an ex-girlfriend back”.

Most of the time guys want ex-girlfriends back for mentally unhealthy reasons, like jealousy, make wrong, feeling rejected, etc.

I have seen guys totally unhappy with a woman in a relationship and negotiate a mutually agreeable break up only to get totally jealous when the woman gets a new boyfriend before the guy gets a new girlfriend. Of course the guy then totally decides he made a mistake and wants her back.

This is, of course, crazy. He didn’t like her. That is why he broke up with her the fist time. If he gets her back, he won’t like her again. What he really wants to accomplish (whether he consciously knows it or not) is to get her back so he can dump her and get a girlfriend this time before she does.

There is only one valid reason to get an ex back and that is if the ex was a really good woman, your ideal candidate so to speak, and you blew it by treating her badly. Now if this is the case and you can acknowledge what you did was wrong, and you are willing to change the way you treated her and start treating her right, then getting her back can make sense and be a mentally healthy thing to do.

So how do you do it? Well people are individuals and there is no valid generalization that I can make to tell you what to do to repair a specific messed up situation. However, if you did discover you were not treating her right, it starts with that. Stop treating her badly and start treating her right. Acknowledge that you know what you did was wrong. That will go a long way. If you  can acknowledge that you know what you did was wrong without her having to spell it out for you, it will be more believable when you say you are not going to do those things anymore.

When I did it, I was in a situation where we had a mutually agreeable break up. On my own, after a few weeks I examined the relationship and decided I hadn’t given it a fair chance. I decided it was worth my best effort. When I approached her to get back together, I was surprised to learn she had already started dating another guy who had proposed to her and she had accepted and was engaged.

My work was cut out for me. To make a very long story short, using all the relationship technology I give you in “Dating To Relating” it took me three months but by the end of the three months she had broken up with the new guy and was back with me. Within another three months we were engaged.

So can an ex-girlfriend be recovered? You bet they can, but it takes a lot of hard work if they broke up with you or have found a new boyfriend. It is not something you want to consider doing lightly, and especially not something you want to do because you are jealous or want revenge. Most of the time you just need to accept that you were not compatible and just move on. But if you have a rare exception to the rule, then I suggest getting a copy of “Dating To Relating –  From A To Z” to learn all the details of how to do it.

Mr.L.Rx