DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 11/23/09
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
Released by AssociatedNews.US
Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: How do I ask a girl who I am seeing to be my girlfriend?
Answer: My experience has been that if you have to ask, something is wrong. Most of the time, relationships evolve naturally. You start dating someone, you like them, so you see them more and more. You lose interest in seeing other people. My “girlfriend” conversation is usually simple. After a month or two, I usually find myself saying “Are you dating anyone else, because I am not.” They invariably say “No, I stopped seeing other people. I am just dating you.”
But if you have to ask, do it like women do. Don’t be confrontational – “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” Say something like “So we have been going out every week for 4 weeks now, does that mean I am your boyfriend?”
At least that will open the subject and you will find out where you stand.
Question: Do you think it’s a good idea to have a couple of regular stories lined up for the first few minutes of a conversation with a woman when you try to approach and meet her?
Answer: Well, I think it is much better to have a couple of questions lined up for women when you first meet them. Guys who go on-and-on talking about themselves tend to bore girls. Show that you are interested in her by asking questions.
But don’t work a list for too long. Listen to what the person says. Ask more questions based on what they just said. That shows that you are listening and are interested.
It does help to have questions lined up for different situations, however. The kind of questions you might ask a women at a social gathering, and the kind of questions that you might ask passing her on the street may be entirely different. You may want to work those out ahead of time and have them ready to go for different situations.
Question: I called this girl that I met and asked her out. When she asked me when I want to meet, I told her “Today, tomorrow, or any other time you want to meet.” Was that the right way to respond?
Answer: No, That sort of makes you look like a desperate loser. It would be better to show her you have some sort of life and that you are not available anytime. A simple response like “I am busy Saturday and Sunday night, but I am open Friday, sounds like you have a life. If she says “Too bad, Friday is the only night I can’t, then set something up for the next week.
If you really can’t wait to see her you could always call her back the next day and say “My Saturday night gig was postponed so if you would rather move our date up to Saturday, I can do that now.”
Mr. L. Rx
