DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 1/26/09
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
Released by AssociatedNews.US
Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: “What is the biggest mistake guys make on the first date that prevents ever having a second date or developing a sexual relationship (rather than a friendship)?”
Answer: Well, there are several mistakes a guy can make. Let me summarize the most common ones here. The biggest mistakes guys make on first dates are:
1) Talking about themselves too much. Trying to be interesting instead of interested.
2) Not asking questions and not listening enough.
3) Focusing too much on sex– either overtly or by innuendo.
4) Not using subtleties enough (What a woman understands)
5) Not developing sexual flow or interest.
6) Not creating future. (A relationship is all about future.)
The first mistake that most guys make is that they go on the first date and talk all about themselves, sort of strut around telling the girl that he’s got this car, and he’s got this job and he talks and talks and talks bragging about this and that trying to impress the girl that he is a good catch.
What a girl sees is a self-centered ego maniac that isn’t going to be able to take care of her at all, because he is not interested in her and doesn’t listen to what she has to say. Not a good relationship prospect.
Another way of saying it is that guys try to be interesting. They figure they have to be interesting for a girl to be interested in them. Sorry guys, but it doesn’t work that way. You have to be interested in the girl, not interesting to get her attention. Did you ever see two interesting people on a date. It is hilarious! They are both so busy trying to be interesting to the other that neither has time to be interested in the other.
If you don’t know what I am talking about, think what makes you feel better. A girl who is interested in you? Or a girl who is telling you how cool she is, how hot she is, etc. and all kinds of other interesting things.
Interesting leads to a lot of rejection and “platonic” friendships by the way. Girls will be friends with a guy who is really interesting. Why? Girls like to be amused and entertained. Interesting men are sort of like children to them. A source of non-sexual amusement and pleasure.
That is all we have room to talk about here, but you can get more data on the other five mistakes at:http://datingtorelating.com/products.
Mr. L. Rx
