DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 3/8/10
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
Released by AssociatedNews.US
Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: What are some of the mistakes guys make trying to create a relationship?
Answer: When we talk about CREATING a relationship, we are talking about making a relationship better – more fun, more products, more togetherness, etc. And when you DON’T create a relationship the opposite happens – whether you like it or not – and there will be less fun, less togetherness, less products, etc.
NOW, selecting the right person to establish a relationship with has a lot to do with it. Because you can unfortunately get with the wrong person who will not CREATE the relationship or try to make it any better. But qualifying a person for a relationship is another technology and I address that in other places, and falls more under DATING technology than RELATING technology.
All of this actually goes back to INTEGRITY and QUALIFYING. When DATING – Never, never, NEVER do things that you really DON’T want to do. If you don’t like giving a girl flowers – DON’T – find a girl who doesn’t like flowers. If you don’t like opening car doors for a woman and being a gentleman, then don’t be one. FIND a girl who is liberated and doesn’t want a man to do that.
If your idea of romance that you can CREATE is going camping and fishing, then find a girl who thinks that is ROMANTIC too.
Believe it or not, guys, there is a girl who is just right for you. I know because I am the guy who went out on 700 dates in a year and talked to an awful lot of women. YOU don’t have to compromise your integrity to get a relationship with a woman.
SO the first mistake here on CREATING relationships with women is NOT FINDING the right woman for you in the first place.
The second mistake is to compromise your integrity and start doing things “to get the woman” that you aren’t going to be able to continue to do AFTER you get her.
The third mistake is to STOP doing the things which got you the girl in the first place. WHATEVER got you the girl, will continue to get you the girl (with a few exceptions I won’t get in to now). But you are going to have to be a little creative and figure out NEW ways to do it so it doesn’t become routine and boring.
SO, if you went dancing with the girl once a week when you were courting her (and she loved it) continue to go dancing with her once a week when you are married, even when you have children – hire a baby sitter. Romance your wife. But you may need to vary it – dance with her after a romantic dinner at home. Take her to new and exciting dance places. Take dance lessons with her. Get the idea.
There are probably dozens of little things (or big things) like this you did to get her. CONTINUE to do them. Do them better. Find new ways of doing them. And find new ways to attract her. You are going to have to do this continuously, and if you want to keep her for the rest of your life, then you are going to have to do this for the rest of your life.
Mr. L. Rx
