DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 5/31/10
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am not interested in getting married or having a girlfriend. Quite honestly I just want a sexual partner. What is the best line you can use to get hooked up that way with a girl?
Answer: Now this is a typical question that I get from a number of guys. I sometimes hesitate to answer this question as I do not personally believe in using people, which is what a lot of guys do who just want a sexual relationship.
In fact, most typically, a guy will simply lie to a girl, tell her whatever she wants to hear – I love you, I want to get married someday, etc. – just to get sex.
It is my observation that the idea that guys can’t commit is a fallacy that stems from guys lying to girls just to get sex. In actuality I believe that guys are more inclined to commit to a relationship then women are. It is just that guys need sex so bad, they compromise their integrity and get involved with women they are really not interested in – just to get sex – and that is the reason for the “myth” that guys can’t commit.
Believe me, when a guy is really interested in a girl, he won’t have any problem committing and he will probably want to do it way before she is ready.
But to answer the question honestly I will give you guys a piece of advice that an “older man” gave me when I was about 25. (He was 30.) He told me that he had lied, lied and lied in order to try to get women to give him sex all his life. But in the end he was a miserable failure. Not many women wanted to have sex with him at all. So then one day, he got tired of lying and deceit and just decided to tell the truth. And suddenly he started having success with women.
He would tell them things like: He couldn’t be trusted; he would cheat on them without a doubt; he would lie to them all the time; etc.
And after telling them all this they would still have sex with him. Out of his experiences, he evolved a maxim: The best lie is the truth.
This is the maxim that he taught me when I was 25. When I got divorced shortly afterwards, I remembered the maxim and never lied to anyone. I always told the truth and never had any problem getting someone to accept me for just a sexual relationship.
Why is that? Why does this maxim work?
Well no one likes being lied to and manipulated. And when you attempt to do that, it is either obvious you are lying ( this is true for most people, hence the poor success rate with lies) or you get caught sooner or later and dumped.
But when you tell the truth you will discover that yes, you will loose a few women who aren’t interested in the same thing you are, but you will also discover that there are plenty of women, who are interested in the same thing as you.
A relationship built on truth will not be harmful to either party and will be a much better experience then trying to trick some poor girl into a sexual relationship by lying to her and telling her you love her and are interested in marriage when you aren’t.
So the moral to this story and the answer to your question is that the “best line” is the truth. Tell women exactly what you are looking for and you will stand your best chance for success.
Mr. L. Rx
