DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 6/1/09
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
Released by AssociatedNews.US
Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: How do you stand out from the crowd? If you are sitting down eating with friends, is this a viable spot to approach someone?
Answer: A lot of guys think that you have to stand out from the crowd physically to create attraction. Well that might be true for some guys. I mean if you are a great looking guy you will probably stand out.
However, I was a great looking guy when I was 18-20 years old and I couldn’t get a girlfriend for the life of me. I would attract them, but as soon as I opened my mouth and started talking I drove them away.
Now, although I am in my fifties and balding, I have more 20+ year old girlfriends then I ever had in my 18-20 year old prime.
Why? Well, later on when I was 25, I learned that it was motion, positioning, and what you said that made you stand out from the crowd.
You see, everything is situational. What stands out for one girl is boring and mundane for another. So the first thing you have to learn is to observe a situation and create the attraction factor specifically for that situation.
Walking up to a hot girl and telling her she is hot will not make you stand out from the crowd. You will be the fifteenth guy who has done that today.
Ignoring the plain looking girl in favor of her hot looking friend won’t make you stand out from the crowd either. You will be the typical guy to both girls. But ignoring the hot looking girl in favor of the plain looking one – well that just might impress them both.
Being afraid to approach the girl who is so hot she is intimidating won’t make you stand out from the crowd either. Running away to guzzle a few beers to build your courage won’t help. But simply walking up to her and asking her to dance the minute you see her… How many guys can do that?
You see every situation has different variables that make one stand out from the crowd. Start observing situations. What happens when you sit down and eat with friends? What do most people do and say to the type of girl you are interested in? How do they stand and move with respect to her?
Well don’t do and say that. Don’t move like that. Say something different. Do or say something different yet interesting and unique, and you will have instant attraction.
Here is an example: I was once at a party and there was a really hot woman who was surrounded by about 10 guys drooling all over her. I ignored her for about the first hour at the party and made sure she noticed me ignoring her. Then I walked by her and the 10 guys when I was strolling through the kitchen and I heard her say “I like weird people.” Without stopping I simply said as I walked by, “Well you would really like me ‘cause I am really weird.”
She dropped these 10 guys and was all over me in a minute. She was with me the rest of the party and we left together that night.
I stood out from the crowd because I was the only guy at the party ignoring her, and I was the only guy willing to state that I was weird – something she really liked.
So there you have it. Attraction is created by being interesting and unique. What is interesting and unique is different for different people in different situations. But if you observe long enough it will be obvious.
Mr. L. Rx
