DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 1/4/10
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
Released by AssociatedNews.US
Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: How do you handle competition from other men when going out and meeting women and on internet dating sites?
Answer: Well, the first thing I would do is assess how much competition the other guy really is. Just because a guy is interested in the same girl as you, does not make him necessarily competition. Just because he is talking to a girl you like does not make him competition.
Now if he knows what he is doing better than you do, then sit back and watch him work. You can learn things from other guys that you can apply at a different time.
Also he might be a good guy to hang with if he attracts women – or better yet – the same kind of women that you like. Hanging out with a guy who attracts the kind of women you like is a definite plus. Girls may be attracted to him, but not everyone will like him once they talk to him. There may be lots of opportunity to meet women by hanging with him.
Now, if a guy doesn’t know what he is doing, that can be an advantageous situation also.
I once had a friend who was attracted to the exact same type of women as I was. He was a lot more aggressive than me. He would approach all kinds of attractive women all night long when we went out.
All I did was stand next to him on his approaches. His technique was so bad that girls got tired of him in about two minutes. At just about that point in his approach, the girls would typically start talking to me to “escape” him.
I was recently divorced and shy at the time, so this worked like a charm for me. This guy unknowingly became my “wingman.”
So I guess my point is that one way or another, you don’t have anything to lose by guys trying to move in on what you consider your territory. If the guy is good, you’ll learn from him. If he isn’t, he will assist you.
But if you have a situation that you can’t handle, for example, a guy who makes you jealous, or a guy who is neither good nor bad and just interferes, the solution is simple. Talk to him about being cooperative and taking turns being each other’s wingman, and if that doesn’t work then don’t go out with him when trying to meet women.
Internet dating sites is entirely different. Most women get tons of emails when they first appear on a site. It is a good idea to be one of the first ones to email them as sometimes they get so many emails they get overwhelmed and take their profile down, or they won’t bother to read any emails after the first couple of hundred or so.
So put a good message in the subject line, that way if they are not opening emails and just judging by subject lines, you have a chance. Also Saturday mornings and Saturday afternoons are times when more people check emails online. After Friday night’s failures people are just a little more interested in seeing what is out there. If you email at that time you might ace out a few competitors.
Mr. L. Rx
