DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 12/21/09
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: Mr. L. Rx, what is the best body language sign that a woman likes you?
Answer: Well, the best body language indicator is to look at “motion toward” and “motion away.”
People generally make a motion toward things that they like, things they are attracted to, things that interest them. They similarly make a motion away from things they don’t like, things that repulse them, and things that do not interest them.
So when meeting women, I generally constantly monitor these motions.
If I say “Hi” to a woman and she says “Hi” back and smiles and asks my name, those are “motions toward”. Similarly if I were to say “Hi” to a woman and she were to ignore my gesture, turn her back and walk away. Those are “motions away.”
The above are clear indicators of interest and disinterest. But it is not always that easy. Sometimes you might say “Hi” to a woman and she says “Hi” back with a smile, but then walks quickly away.
What does this simultaneous “motion toward” and “motion away” mean?
Well we usually call this mixed signals and it can mean a variety of things in various situations. You simply need to observe the patterns and understand them before you decide to act one way or the other on the signals.
In the case above, it could mean she is interested but has a date or a boyfriend nearby. Or it could mean that she is a tease, trying to set you up to get “stuck” on her.
That is why the best pick up line, so to speak, is a simple “Hi”. Because if a woman is interested in you, she will make a “motion toward” and keep the conversation going no matter what you say. If she is not interested she will bolt as soon as you give her a chance.
Now people can be interested and leave the conversation at an appropriate point. This is not a “bolt.” And people who leave at an appropriate point will usually leave with some indication that they will be back, or perhaps they have given you a phone number and suggested that you call them some time.
Normal human reaction is a pattern of “motion toward” and “motion away – a person moves towards something they are attracted to, them moves away, then moves towards it again, then moves away, etc.
People who just make “motions toward” (or an imbalanced pattern of motions which are considered too much “motion toward”) would usually be aberrated – such as stalkers, and those we consider “clingy”, etc.
The whole point of my writings in Dating To Relating From A To Z, is to teach men (and women) how to create “motion toward” in others. Motion can be created, directed and redirected. Motion does not have a predetermined fate. Learn to create and direct motion and you will become the master of your own fate.
Mr. L. Rx
