DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 12/14/09
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: Do all women play “head games”? Or just a certain type?
Answer: Playing “head games” is not inherent to either men or women. It is more of a “personality type” issue. Unfortunately, a lot of dating gurus, of the same personality type, teach people strategies that are “head games.”
Most “head games” are uncomfortable unless you know the counter “head game.” The strategies that I teach are not head games but observational strategies and are usually received in a comfortable manner by others.
I would estimate that the majority of people do not play head games. However, a woman’s tendency for subtle communications can sometimes mistakenly be identified as a head game.
Most women won’t usually come out and say that they find a guy attractive, for example. Some men take this as a head game and wonder why women can’t just be direct like men.
But there is a difference here. Head games are usually designed to control or manipulate someone’s behavior in a somewhat heartless and careless way.
When a woman communicates in subtleties to a man, she is doing it for survival. Men are aggressive enough with women. If a woman gives a man encouragement to be even more aggressive, it could be a mistake that results in bad consequences. Most women want to check out the guy’s personality first before they give him any clear signals he can act upon.
How can you tell the difference between “head games” and “subtleties.” Well, there are books written by women instructing women how to play head games with men. Things like “never be on time”, “never return a guy’s phone call”, “always make him pay for dinner”, etc. are “head games” which are taught.
These strategies are not situational and are some misinformed woman’s idea of how to control “men” in general. What they don’t get is that these type of strategies only work on a certain personality type of man.
Don’t confuse these purposeful manipulations that women are taught to do to “all” men with subtle communications – such as a women “not” telling you she is very attracted to you while she goes out with you any time you ask. This girl isn’t trying to manipulate you she just wants to get to know you better before she decides if she wants to be your girlfriend.
In the final analysis, people have personalities and both men and women have different personalities types. Be wary of anyone who gives you advice that says ALL women or ALL men are like this….blah, blah, blah.
Mr. L. Rx
