DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 5/10/10
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
Released by AssociatedNews.US
Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: Mr. L. Rx, my girlfriend says I am not creating our relationship. I love her and all but I have no clue what she is talking about. Can you help me understand this?
Answer: When you first meet a girl and are attracted to her – you are trying to establish a relationship – whether it is just for a fling (sexual fun), ongoing friendship only (companionship and sexual fun) or something more serious – like all of the above plus living together and sharing finances and raising children together.
You are hoping she will be attracted to you too, and then that will lead to friendly fun and, in most cases, what you really want and need from a woman – sexual fun. And if this happens, you’ll have a sexual relationship.
Now remember, there is no static state in any relationship. Relationships either get better (you are relating more and having more fun or producing more desired products – happiness, contentment, personal goals, children, sex, etc.) or they get worse (you are relating less, seeing each other less, having less fun, having less sex, producing less products together.)
So when a woman is talking about creating a relationship, she is talking about making a relationship better – more fun, more products, more togetherness, etc. And when you don’t create a relationship the opposite happens – whether you like it or not – and there will be less fun, less togetherness, less products, etc.
So what is creating a relationship? Creating a relationship is doing those things which increase attraction (both physical and/or mental/spiritual), communication, understanding, mutual survival, agreements between you, and the number and or quality of the products you produce together.
When you are not creating a relationship the attraction decreases (physical and/or mental/spiritual), the communication worsens, the understanding and mutual survival lessens, the agreements between you lessen and/or are broken, and the number and quality of products you produce together go down.
So, let’s translate this into actions you can do.
Well, you probably already know how to create a relationship. Most guys do it when they are romancing the girl to get her. They bring her flowers, open the door for her, assure her she looks nice (when she is worried about it), listen to her gossip even though it bores them out of their mind. They go to the mall with her when they really hate shopping. They go to chick movies with her now and again. Get it guys? You know what I am talking about, creating is all those things you do to get the girl!
Now the problem is most guys do all kinds of things they don’t like just to get the girl. So, after they get her and feel comfortable with their position, they stop doing all those things that they don’t like.
Problem is guys, that is the death toll for the relationship.
Whatever you did to get the girl you have to do more of it, more frequently, and in new and better ways to create the relationship and keep her.
And if your girl is complaining that you are not creating the relationship any more, I will bet you anything you are not doing the things you did to get her anymore.
Mr. L. Rx
