DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 5/17/10
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am a recently divorced man, 42 years old. I was married to one woman for 15 years. How do I get back in the swing of things? I haven’t dated in a very long time.
Answer: Good question. There are several things you can do to get back into the swing of things. And it starts with observation.
Go somewhere where men and women are dating. Watch a few couples. See how they are acting. See how the men dress. Listen to the topics that are being talked about. Listen to whether the women are responding positively or negatively to the men they are with.
Observe the women. See what the women you are attracted to respond to and don’t respond to. In the end, if you are a careful observer you can learn what women you are attracted to like and don’t like in men’s behavior. Make sure you notice women’s personality. Notice what the personalities you like respond to.
Most importantly go where there are lots of women and start interacting with them on any level you can. You don’t have to hit up on them to interact with them.
Interact with them on a safe level. Don’t do anything that will make you get scared and want to run away. Ask them for the time. Ask them for directions. Ask them their opinions on things, but don’t ask them for a date, or to dance if that is going to make you feel rejected if they say no.
Go to a night club for example and ask a few women for help. Tell them you are recently divorced and you have no clue on how to meet women and how to act and ask them for their advice.
In your spare time, read advice from dating gurus such as myself, but most importantly constantly and continually interact with women. When I was recently divorced, I found that internet and personal ads were a very easy way to meet women. In fact, I went out on 700 dates in one year after I got divorced by using internet and personal ad dating sites.
When you meet women in any situation – talk, talk, talk. Ask questions, ask questions, ask questions. Women will help you if you just ask. Don’t make “getting a girl friend” your immediate target. Make “learning about women so you don’t make the same mistakes” your immediate target.
I spent a whole year meeting women and asking questions and learning before I settled down with one woman. It was perhaps the best single thing I have ever done.
If you do the above things you will gradually not only get back into the swing of things, but after a few months you will become an “old pro.”
Mr. L. Rx