DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 4/19/10
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
Released by AssociatedNews.US
Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: I have the worse luck finding women who are good prospects for relationships. I have no trouble meeting women but they all seem to have boyfriends, or they are a little nuts, or something else is wrong. How do you find good prospects for relationships?
Answer: Good question. Now most guys naturally do what they think is prospecting by asking: Is she single? Is she cute?
Most guys know to find out the answers to those two questions before they waste time and energy on courtship. But that is really not prospecting. It is just sorting out the leads (someone you should to talk to) from those you shouldn’t bother to talk to.
Now once you do your basic sort and decide which girls you should talk to, this is where prospecting really begins.
How does she feel about relationships? What is she looking for? What kind of relationship is she looking for? What kind of guy is she looking for? What does she expect from a guy in a relationship? Is she affectionate? Does she like to cuddle at night? Does she like sex? How often? Does she want children? How many? Is she smart? How smart? Is she educated? How educated? What kind of career does she want? How important is it to her? What is more important to her family or career? What is more important to her? Her husband or her friends? Her children or her husband? Her mother or her husband? What is her family like? How does she handle her family? Is she still a little girl afraid to stand up to mom, dad, aunt and uncle? Or has she grown up and able to command respect from her elders?
There are hundreds of more questions. The list just goes on and on.
But in order to figure out if someone is a good prospect for you, you have to ask questions. You can qualify a woman as a prospect in two minutes ( or two dates, or two months ) or waste a lot of time on her by going into your sales pitch just to find out later she wasn’t a prospect after all. (In some cases, that might be 2 or 3 years of dating to find out what you could have found out in two months of intense qualifying in the beginning.)
Not only do you qualify when you first meet a woman, as you move along in relationships, you have to continually qualify women especially as you move from level to level of relationship.
The girl who is a hot lover, may make a lousy girlfriend. The girl who was an excellent see-you-three-times-a-week girlfriend may make a terrible “roommate” when you finally chose to live together. The girl who was a good “roommate” or living together partner, may make a crummy wife and mother.
Every type of relationship has its own set of unique qualifying questions and answers.
Every guy has his own unique set of questions and answers for each type of relationship.
So you see, when you are 18, “Is she cute?” and “Does she have a boyfriend?” may seem to be the only two questions you need answered. But unless you are extraordinarily lucky, it won’t be enough. And it is NOT qualifying or defining a prospect. It is only defining a lead.
Ask a lot of questions. It is the only way you determine if a woman is right for you.
Mr. L. Rx
