DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 2/15/10
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
Released by AssociatedNews.US
Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: What about making “the move”? After the first date, when is the best time to make “the move”?
Answer: There is no universal best time. Each woman is different. But if you listen and observe, you will know when the time is right. Women will tell you or show you.
I’ve gone out with women who have overtly asked me to make out with them on the first date. I’ve gone out with women who have just had that “look” that told me I should kiss them – right now.
I’ve gone out with women that would only give me a hand shake on the first date. But when I asked them out for a second, a third, a fourth date, they always said yes. That tells me something. It tells me they are interested in me but just very conservative.
Usually with this kind of woman, by the third or fourth date, I start getting a little hug and a cheek kiss, but more importantly the women usually start talking about sex and asking me how I like this or that sexually and sort of qualifying me on the subject of sex.
When they start talking about sex, this is a big clue. So the next date, I usually give them a choice. I say to these very polite and restrained women, “Would you like to go to dinner and a movie again or do you want to just hang out at home and relax, cuddle and watch some TV?”
You see, when they start talking about sex, I know despite their rather conservative behavior, that they are ready for it. So I give them a choice just to confirm my suspicions. When they choose to stay at home (and they always do), I know it is time to take it to the next level.
All the dates after the first date and before being intimate are all actually very similar. Some women will do on date fifteen what other women will do on date two. Some women just need more time to get comfortable with you.
They feel that it takes a long time to get to really know a man. So they proceed more cautiously. If you ask a woman questions about dating while you are getting to know her, she will usually reveal her own dating philosophy. Then you will know how to proceed.
Some women will even tell you that they want the guy to take charge and set the pace. Other women want to be in control and need respect from a guy. Some women want a guy to try even though they will constantly shut him down until they are ready. The fact that the guy tries makes them feel good and desired.
Other women don’t like guys to try too much at all. They give you little signals and they want you to respect and respond to the signals they give. Other women like to be aggressive. Still others like shy guys.
There is no one right time for a guy to make his move. If you simply talk to women, ask questions and listen to the answers, you will know when to make your move and be right most of the time.
Mr. L. Rx
