DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 11/16/09
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
Released by AssociatedNews.US
Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: How do you keep your romance going after you have been with someone for several years. Isn’t it natural for things to get boring?
Answer: Well, it may be common but it is not natural. It is common because most couples fail to continually create their relationship. Both men and women are guilty of making a “romantic” effort to get someone and then stopping that effort after they “get that person.”
Romance is something that you have to continually create in order to continually experience it. What is romance? Well it is listening to your partner and showing them you care by doing those little things that please them.
For some women, it may be opening car doors, and giving them your coat when it is cold. For others, it might be a box of chocolates and flowers. For yet others, it just might be listening to them talk about their day. In other words what people consider romantic will vary from person to person.
In general, however, romance is something that must be done outside of the bedroom as well as in it….you know, shopping with your girl in the mall, holding hands as you walk, having a sexy conversation and flirtation at lunch. Little kisses and touches throughout the day.
Anything that lets your girl know you are thinking of her is romantic. So bringing home her favorite pastry, or picking up something for her at the store that you saw and knew she would want, would be romantic.
A surprise vacation, or a weekend trip can also be very romantic, but big romantic efforts, though well appreciated, don’t do as much good in creating romance as the little daily romantic efforts that show you are continually thinking of her and care.
One of the better ways to create romance is to continue doing whatever you did to get the girl in the first place and to figure out new and better ways to do those things.
If you have a relationship, then obviously you did something right and you were successful in “romancing” her to begin with. But all too often people expend much energy and effort to do all sorts of romantic things to get someone to be their girlfriend or to marry them. Then after they get married or move in together, they feel like they don’t have to make the effort anymore because they “got” the girl.
Wrong way to think. If you want to keep the girl and keep you relationship fresh and romantic, you have to continue doing whatever you did to get her in the first place. You have to keep doing it over and over again, you have to think of new and better ways of doing it, and you have to do this forever. (Or at least as long as you want to have a relationship with her!)
If you do this you will find that romance can last a lifetime and never get boring.
Mr. L. Rx
