DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 11/9/09
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
Released by AssociatedNews.US
Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do you get a girl to give you her phone number when you are walking down the street, or see someone you like in a mall?
Answer: Well, there are many ways to get a girl’s phone number, but this situation is probably the hardest of them all. Spotting some random girl walking down the street and trying to get her phone number when you don’t even know her and only have about a minute to stop her and try to get it, is not easy.
The majority of guys see a girl they are attracted to and 90% of the time they will make an instant decision that they would like that girl for a girlfriend and would like to have sex with her. Guys are very visually oriented.
Girls on the other hand, even if they see a guy who is very attractive, won’t immediately desire to have sex with that guy or be in a relationship with him. Girls are more inclined to want to check out the guys personality first and know something about him before committing to “acting on their interest.”
Now this is what the majority of each sex does. There are exceptions. But for simplicity’s sake let’s continue.
Most women will rule out or disqualify a guy whose only interest in them is sexual. When a guy walks up to a girl and expresses his desire to have a relationship with her based only on her looks, that is an immediate disqualifier for most girls. Even if she gives you her phone number, she probably won’t answer the phone or return your calls.
On the other hand, most girls like it when they know a guy is “checking them out” not only for their looks, but for their personality and mutual interest. Women will be likely to give their phone number to a guy who is checking them out.
So if you want to stop a women on the street, or in the mall, or in the store, and have a brief conversation with her that ends in getting her phone number, the first thing you have to realize is that the conversation shouldn’t be about how “hot” she is or how “good” she looks.
Instead, become adept at quickly spotting something about her that creates a conversation about mutual interests, or personality characteristics. For example, stopping a women on the street and commenting about what nice taste she has in clothes, and asking her for some quick advice on where to buy clothes like she has, could lead to getting her phone number. Your excuse could be that you are on your way to work, as she is, and you would like to ask her some more questions, but simply don’t have the time right now.
Stopping someone getting out of their car, and asking them questions about their new Toyota could lead to getting their phone number so you can ask them a few more questions as you are looking to buy the same model.
When you have these kind of quick conversations, girls might know you are also interested in them, but they won’t really care. They will like the fact that you are not focusing on sex and will feel safer talking to you. They will answer your calls and they will return your calls when you leave a message.
The hard part is coming up with a quick topic to talk about that is relevant to the girl you are stopping. That just takes practice. The more you do it, the better you will get at it.
Mr. L. Rx
