DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 10/26/09
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
Released by AssociatedNews.US
Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: Why do women like to play games with guys? Why can’t they just be like men and be honest about their feelings?
Answer: Well, women are no more into games than men. In fact, it is a personality “type” that is into games not something characteristic of either men or women.
There are many personality types among both men and women. Some types are very direct and truthful in their communications. From my experience, this is a minority of people.
There is another personality type that is responsive to direct honest communication, but is also responsive to playing games. These people can go either way depending on how you approach them.
So be careful in your approach. A lot of men consider that women are “playing games” because when a guy walks up to them and says he is attracted to the woman, she doesn’t respond with an equal statement even if she is attracted to the guy. Instead she coyly “tests” the guy.
Now you might consider that you are being straight forward and not playing games with the woman when you approach her and tell her you are attracted to her, but this woman might think otherwise. It is a matter of viewpoint. From your viewpoint you are not playing any games and she is.
But, let’s look at it from her viewpoint. From her viewpoint, any guy that approaches her purely on her looks and says he “likes” her or is “very attracted” to her, without knowing anything about her personality is into the “sex” game.
From her viewpoint, relationships have a lot more to them than just “sex.” So when a guy approaches her like that, she doesn’t see that as a straight forward, honest guy. She sees it as a guy who is playing the “sex” game. This same girl if approached differently may not respond with a game but be capable of responding with straight forward communication.
If you approached this same girl and said you were attracted to her looks, but that you would like to talk to her for a while to see if her personality was as attractive to you as her looks. She might respond with some good honest communication because now she sees you as a straight forward guy. A guy who is honest enough to say “Hey, you are cute, but I don’t know anything else about you. I want to make sure you are not some insane woman before I could ever possibly hook up with you.”
Then of course there are personality types that are into games, and there is nothing you could say or do to get them out of “games.” You just have to learn how to beat them at their own games.
The main thing to realize, however, is that it is personality that determines whether a person plays “games”- not their gender. Learn and observe personality types and you will find your self more causative in human relations of all kinds.
Mr. L. Rx
