DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 7/27/09
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: Mr. L. Rx, where is the best place to meet someone for a first date? Do you have to spend money on a first date?
Answer: Well, it depends on whether it is a blind date or someone you know.
As you may know from my book “How I Got 700 Dates In One Year” I have gone on many blind dates. I am so relaxed on a blind date that it is funny. I recommend that you always suggest to meet someone in a public place – like a Starbucks, or restaurant, or park, etc.
I also suggest that you just be who you are. I am not poor so I routinely invite women out to dinner on a blind date. It’s something I have to do anyway, and saves me time. My time is more valuable to me than the cost of dinner. However, that is just who I am now. There were times in my life when I couldn’t afford to do that, and I would invite a women to meet me at a quiet coffee shop. That is OK too.
Even when I meet women at a coffee shop, I will buy them their coffee – because being a gentleman is who I am.
However, do you have to do that? No. By all means, be who you are and establish it quickly. It is one of the ways you qualify your date and see if you get along.
I close 90% of the women I meet on a first date. I know of friends who go out with women and buy them dinner, etc. who close 0% of the women they meet. When I occasionally meet women at a coffee shop, I still close 90% of the women I meet. So, it is not about money, it is just being comfortable in your own skin no matter what you do.
Chose a quiet place where you can talk. It is important to talk and listen on a blind date. Blind dates are usually discovered from the internet or personal ads. Here is a prospect that is interested in a relationship of some sort. This is my prospecting time. This is my time to find out if I am interested in this person and see if we could be compatible. Going to a movie or some place noisy where we couldn’t talk wouldn’t allow me to find out what I need to know.
Now it is different if I am going out on a first date with someone I have already met and qualified. Now I am looking to have fun, romance, or maybe even a seductive time. So I may go to a movie, or hiking, or to flea market or shopping, etc. I am now looking to use the experience as an “attraction” builder. I am looking to be romantic and flirt and have fun. I don’t need to do as much talking as I will be using more body language and other physical subtleties to romance and seduce her.
Mr. L. Rx
