DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 3/30/09
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: How does the body language you use to attract a woman differ from the body language you use to maintain a relationship
Answer: How do the two differ? Well, for example, if you read the advice in most body language books you will see a lot of advice on using posture, stance, eyes, etc. to portray confidence. Women in general are attracted to confidence in a man. However, our guiding principle with someone that you have already established a relationship with is “keep doing whatever you did to attract the woman in the first place”.
Though it may be true that most women are attracted to men who portray confidence, perhaps your woman is not like the average woman and likes shy guys. Perhaps she was attracted to you because you didn’t portray confidence around women. Well, if that is the case, then flirting with your girlfriend or wife may involve going back to those non-verbal clues that you used to give off about your shyness and lack of confidence. Perhaps since you got your girl, you are no longer shy and lack confidence with her and perhaps that is now a “turn off” or “failure to turn on” for her.
You have to go back to what worked in the beginning as a lower gradient each and every time you want to flirt with her or seduce her. Perhaps she likes it when you are shy and she originates sex with you. Perhaps you then can become aggressive and un-shy when you get to the higher stages of sexual interest.
This is just an example. But the idea is to go back to your exact overall pattern of how you attracted her in the first place and the body language that worked for you in the first place. Obviously it worked.
Now that doesn’t mean you don’t simultaneously listen to your mate. If she complains that you do not stand up straight, or that you don’t walk along side of her or don’t hold her hand, she is giving you big clues as to the kind of body language she wants to see from you.
If you are smart you will pay attention to her clues and adjust yourself accordingly. It will undoubtedly please her and turn her on.
Question: Mr. L. Rx, Can you actually meet women with personal ads?
Answer: Well, yes you most certainly can. In fact I wrote a book entitled “How I Got 700 Dates In One Year” and personal ads was one of the two methods I used and still use to generate hundreds of dates a year. Craigslist and Backpage are two of the best personal ad forums on the Internet and there are many newspaper that run personal ads too.
In general, I find newspaper personal ads to work best but it does require a little bit of technique as most guys placing personal ads either get no or one or two responses per week. Over the course of my getting 700 dates in a year I averaged over 50 responses a week with my newspaper techniques. But that is too long a story for this column. I suggest you get a copy of the book if you want to learn how to get that kind of volume of dates.
Mr. L. Rx
