Is He Married? Is He Cheating? Is He A Player?

So there is another problem out there that I am getting in emails from women about. It is how to tell if a guy is married. How to tell if he is cheating. How to tell if he is a player.

Apparently there are a lot of married guys out there on the internet pretending to be single.

Is he married and is he playing you?

Actually there are sites set up for married men and women to have affairs, but those are not the problem. People logging on to those sites know the answer to “Is he married?” The problem is when men get on Match.com and other traditional services and pretend to be single. I read somewhere that it is estimated that as much as one-third of the guys on these services are married or in relationships.

How do you tell from a website profile if a guy is single or not. Can you figure out the answer to the question “Is he married” by quickly going over a profile?

Well, I don’t really know of anyway of doing that myself. But I do know that if you ask people about something you suspect or are concerned about,  a lot of them will be truthful with you.

So if you start a chatting or email relationship with someone you might just ask them. Are you married or anything? Not all of them will come clean, but a percentage will provide a truthful answer to that question: “Is he married?”

You also might read their profile fully. Sometimes there is a hidden message somewhere so that they don’t feel like they are lying. They may say something like – “just ending a bad relationship ” or something to that effect to give you a clue that they still might actually be in a relationship.

For the ones that you can’t weed out by internet chat and clues, well you are going to have to look for little clues when you meet them in person that may provide an answer to the question “Is he married?”

Is He Married? Or in a relationship?

Some of the obvious clues are as follows:

1)  He always wants to meet at your place, or around your place. He never wants to meet around where he lives or works for fear that he might be seen. If you are the kind of woman that always has the guy pick you up and take you places, he might be able to get away with it for a long while.  Hmmm, is he married?

Does he even tell you where he lives? Does he ever invite you over? Single guys usually want to take you to their place to put the moves on you. If he is not like that there must be a reason. (Either he has a dirty smelly small cheap apartment in the ghetto, or he is living with someone he doesn’t want you to know about.) Hmmm, is he married?

So it might be a good move to ask to see his apartment. Is he resistive to the idea? What kind of excuse does he give you? If he is totally resistive then you might suggest a restaurant in his neighborhood. Or try hanging out in his neighborhood for a day or evening. Does he look nervous, worried? Make some observations…. Is he married?

You might also ask to meet his family. Usually (unless his family are scum too and will lie for him) he will try to avoid any kind of family meetings as they will know he is cheating.

2) How do you contact him? Does he give you a work number only? A cell number but not a home number?  Does he make excuses why he can’t give you a home number? Does he only answer you phone calls at certain times of the day? Is he never available late at night? Hmmm, is he married?

You might try calling him late at night some time with a problem. See if he answers. If he answers quickly and talks to you, then he probably is alone. If he never answers. You might get suspicious. Or if he always lets it ring a lot before answering, perhaps he is going into another room.

Now of course if a guy has a wife who works a night shift, he can get away with this. But then his pattern would be that he could never talk to you at home during the day time. Hmmm, is he married?

If he never picks up at all at certain times that are suspicious, try calling him at that time with your caller ID blocked, or call from a friends phone. See if he suddenly picks up.

3) What kind of schedule does he keep? Does he only meet you on a certain day of the week? (Perhaps it is the night his wife goes to her girl group or something.)  Does he cancel on you frequently with odd excuses? Car breaks down? Someone dies?

4)  Does he slip up when talking? Does he say “wife” rather than “ex-wife”? Does he say we rather than I ? There may be another person somewhere around. Hmmm, Is he married? Or does he have a girlfriend or is he living with someone?

5) Look at his ring finger. Does it have a tan mark? Of course he could say he is recently divorced, but if he keeps putting that ring back on, it won’t ever go away, will it? Is he married?

6) Ask him things that a single man should know.  Single men do their own laundry and have to clean up (or get a maid). They cook for themselves or eat out a lot. So ask him some cleaning questions. If he says he has a maid to get around specific answers, then say you were thinking of hiring a maid and ask for her name and number. If he can’t or won’t give it to you then you know something is up.

Ask him about his cooking habits. Ask him what places he likes to go out and eat at. If he gets vague and can’t answer you then you know that someone is probably cooking for him.

And if he does fess up, don’t ever lose your integrity and fall for a sad story of how bad his wife treats him. Remember one thing. He has already proven that he cheats. And no matter how great he makes you feel by telling you that you are the best and most wonderful woman he has ever met, remember one thing, he is a liar and a cheater. And if he cheats on her, he will cheat on you.

Mr. L. Rx

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How To Tell If He Is Married (c) 2007 Dating To Relating, Inc.
How To Tell “Is He Married” (c) 2007 Dating To Relating, Inc.