DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 12/20/10
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
Released by AssociatedNews.US
Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: I’m good looking and not lacking in any area. For some reason I’ve just always had a very hard time confronting girls… if I’m lucky enough to get the chance to talk to a very attractive girl I usually chicken out and regret it later.
Answer: Well, I understand your question very well. As a young man, I was in exactly the same position. There is no “magic pill” that will change things overnight. There are a lot of things that you may have to do to change your situation.
I have sent you a complimentary copy of “Dating To Relating – From A to Z” as this is the most complete education that you can get to address your problem.
In the meantime there are two things that you and guys like you can do to raise your confront.
Whenever you feel uncomfortable in any situation, it means that you are approaching this situation on too high a gradient. Rather than run away from the situation. Lower the gradient.
What are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder. If you try to go to the top of the ladder on your first step, it will be impossible and you will fail. If you keep trying it over and over you will start building up a “complex” about failing, and soon not try anymore.
If you try to jump up five or six steps on your first try, it will also be scary – not necessarily impossible but scary. Probability is that if you have no experiences jumping that high you will fail too.
The right approach is to take the first step and then advance one-step at a time. It is the most comfortable way to climb a ladder.
When I was a young man I would see a woman I was attracted to and thought I had to tell her how much I liked her straight away. Well that was jumping up too many steps on the ladder. I didn’t even know her.
The first step is a simple “Hi” and a smile. Then keep walking. Get comfortable just saying “Hi” to girls. Then as the next step when they say “Hi” back or ask you a question, answer the question, or make a comment about something that she has her attention on to continue the conversation. For example, if you are in a bookstore and she is looking at a book on cooking, ask her what she thinks of that book. Is it any good?
Conversations develop naturally. Do not push it. Get to know her before you decide that you like her.
Of course, there is a whole lot more to it, but these are good basics to start with.
Mr. L. Rx
