Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: How do I know a woman wants me rather than needing a relationship?
Answer: Meeting and deciding on people is usually a slow process when you don’t “need” a relationship.
So when you meet a girl and she wants to hang with you all the time, or is obsessed with you, it may seem flattering –especially if she says she likes you – but actually these are indicators that she just needs a relationship and is trying to get into one quickly.
When a woman doesn’t “need” a relationship, she will take time to get to know you. She won’t have sex with you right away, and she may be meeting or dating quite a few people.
A lot of guys get threatened by the fact that a woman is dating other men. However, I find it to be actually something I prefer.
I prefer a woman who goes out and meets a whole bunch of guys and a month or two later tells me I am the guy that she likes the best. This means that she likes me and she knows she likes me (and I know she likes me) because she has experienced other men and considers me the best.
When you are possessive with a girl, and she dates only you and gets into a relationship quickly because she is needy, you don’t really know if she likes you or she just needs a relationship. These are the kinds of situations that lead to breakups in a few weeks, months, or years as eventually people find out they are not compatible.
Question: How can I get a girl without becoming her best friend? This is what is happening to me now. No matter how hard I try, I can not get pass this barrier and see other guys sweep her off her feet. This is what always happens to me and relationships are lost because I finally can’t take it anymore.
Answer: Being a woman’s best friend is not a bad thing. Friendship leads to solid and long lasting relationships, and is the cornerstone of a good relationship.
However, you don’t ONLY want to be friends with a woman you are attracted to, you also want to have a romantic relationship with her.
The guy who sweeps her off her feet may have a similar problem to you. If he can’t be “best friends” and can only be romantic, his relationship won’t last that long and he won’t get what he ultimately wants either.
You need a balance in approaching women. You want to be friends but you also have to be romantic and definitely make it known from the very beginning that that is what you are looking for. The ability to go back and forth from being “friends” to being “romantic” will make you more of a complete person in her eyes and very attractive.
So don’t stop being friends with women, just learn how to flirt and spice it up with a little romance now and again.
There is a free eBook on our website entitled “500 Romantic ideas.” You might want to get a copy.
Mr. L. Rx