DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 8/3/09
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: I am a guy, should I take advice from my women friends regarding dating?
Answer: Very good question. First of all people are individuals, so on an individual basis there is no precluding one sex as being smarter than another.
That being said, I haven’t met a woman yet who completely understood “how to meet” or seduce women. Most women (and most men for that matter) simply tell you what to do from their own perspective. Not many people take into account your personality when giving advice or the personality of the female you are approaching or relating to.
However, I believe there is immense value in talking to women about relationships. The value is in asking them questions that you want to know and getting the answers – not in taking advice from them.
And the real value is in meeting lots of women and talking to them about relationships and asking them questions. When you talk to one hundred women for example, you will probably get an accurate perspective on things. You will find out that when you ask the same question, 50 women answer “A”, 20 women answer “B”, 10 women answer “C”, 10 women answer “D” and the other 10 are all over the place “E” through “Z”.
Now after this you will have a better understanding of women because you will know what “most women think” but you will see that personality produces different answers and attitudes about life. You might decide that you like the personality of the 10 women who answered “D” or the 1 woman out of one hundred who answered “K.”
So my answer is yes, ask your women friends all kinds of questions and get their advice, just don’t take any one friend seriously. Keep meeting and asking women or friends all kinds of questions until you have gotten many, many answers from many, many women.
Question: There are several guys at my school who are really successful with girls. Should I approach these guys and ask for help, or advice, or will that seem too nerdy?
Answer: Well again people are individuals, so not knowing these guys it might be worthwhile to approach some of them and not worthwhile to approach others.
You can also observe these guys without asking permission. Watch them in class or in the halls socializing. See what they do that is successful and what is not. Make sure you look at the type of girls their actions are successful with. They may be successful with a type of girl that you would not be attracted to. What they do with that girl may not work on the type of girl you like.
Get beyond looks. You may be attracted to the way a girl looks, but you will have to live with her personality. Pretty girls have different personalities too. They are not all the same.
If you think some of the guys might be willing to help you, ask them. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. But remember, just like the girls in the question above, talk to lots of guys or find a guy who has a personality like you and see what he does. Make sure he is attracted to the same type of girls you are. Just because he has a personality like you doesn’t mean he will be attracted to the same type of girls.
If you talk to lots of guys and observe their personality and the personalities of the girls they approach, you will be able to get maximum value from their advice. Just remember most people tend to talk in generalizations centered around how they see things from their viewpoint.
Mr. L. Rx
