Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: Mr. L. Rx, a lot of the Dating Gurus, like David DeAngelo, Mystery, Neil Strauss have techniques that make guys into “bad boys”, I think these techniques are disrespectful to women. Do these kinds of techniques work? Can’t you just be a good guy and get women? Or is it true that “good guys finish last?”
Answer: Well, this is a very good question. The truth of the matter is there is no such thing as “women” in the manner that these other gurus talk about it. They talk about women as if they are all the same, when in actuality, there are many different types of women. There are many different personalities among women.
The truth is these techniques do work, but they only work on a certain “personality type” of women. When you use these techniques on all women you will have success with a percentage – usually around ten percent – unless you find a way to place yourself in an environment where this “personality type” congregates.
So, for example, there is a personality type that will tend to go to bars and clubs on a regular basis. So you might have a higher success rate than ten percent – maybe thirty or forty percent if you use a technique that works on these types in a club environment.
Problem is when you are in the bookstore or in class at school, you may find the technique doesn’t work at all or works only one percent of the time. Or if you like a classy, intelligent type of woman, you may find that these types of techniques (which a lot of the gurus teach) don’t work at all.
What works is understanding personality types and having a variety of techniques to handle the different personality types. When I worked bars and clubs years ago, I used four distinctly different strategies on the different personality types that I found there.
Some of these strategies were the exact opposite of the other strategies. The point is all of these strategies worked, but they all worked on different types of women. If I just used one of these strategies, I would have been only successful on my approach one quarter of the time. But by having four different strategies, I got my success ratio up to ninety percent.
The other difficulty is not only the percentage of success; it is the quality of success. For example, say you like the sweet “girl next door” type and the technique you learn only handles the hot man-eater type of girl that you often find in clubs. Then you will be successful, so to speak, but you will not get the type of girl that you want.
This is a “quality” definition for failure not a “quantity” definition. Most of these gurus don’t even address quality failure in any other terms than whether she is physically “hot” or not. But the truth of the matter is guys don’t only want a “hot” girl, they want a “hot” girl that has a personality that they get along with.
And that, my friends, is what we teach at Dating To Relating. We teach you techniques for different personality types and we teach you how to generate your own situational techniques. That is why we have ninety percent success in approaching women rather than ten percent success.
So to answer your question, it is totally possible to get girls by being a “nice guy.” I have been a bad boy and had great success doing so, but personally I got tired of it because I didn’t like the personality type that it attracted.
No one personality type has the corner on beauty or intelligence. There are plenty of “hot” girls that like nice guys. In fact, nice guy techniques are the only techniques that I personally use nowadays and I still close ninety percent of my approaches.
And so can you.
Mr. L. Rx